@alexocado@tech.lgbtSome people are so _poisonous_ that not even understanding them is an effective _antidote_.
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#boundaries
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@alexocado@tech.lgbt
@spamned -- If you look closely, the thing that binds this all together are #Boundaries
And if you haven't been keeping up, it has been proven that trauma is linked to virtually all mental illness.
And mental health across the board is linked to boundaries.
Patreons! January's update is live now too. I have been busy. In this month's THING I have a little rant about #boundaries, some fun news about upcoming #AudioPorn, and a post about what #monogamish means to me.
PatreonJanuary update! Banging, boundaries and the best relationships (for me) | Girl on the NetGet more from Girl on the Net on Patreon
If I could help non disabled people understand one thing about being disabled, it would be how important maintaining a baseline is.
When you’re chronically ill, your baseline is everything.
Even minor setbacks can be catastrophic, so we have to do a risk analysis before literally ANY activity
If you’re asking a disabled person to use valuable spoons… be prepared to hear “No”.
It’s not because they’re rude or they don’t like you or they’re “not trying enough”.
It’s because they know their body and they’ve assessed the risk of a setback to be too high.
When this happens, please respect their choice.
Imagine how hard it would be for you to constantly have to say “No” to people.
To pass up fun activities because you know you need to prioritize a medical appointment or things like cooking and cleaning.
That’s our reality. We’re working with such a small amount of resources that we have nothing extra to spare.
Boundary setting is incredibly hard, don’t make it harder for us by gaslighting and guilting us.
It’s impossible to understand until you go through it, so please take us at our word.
We’re the ones who suffer the setback. The ones who lose hard earned gains when we push too hard.
Support us, believe us, and let us say “No”
Reminder: trolls and fester holes do not respect boundaries and therefore you should not interact with them and just block them instead of giving them more words to twist and change and same with reply guys
Blocking them is self care
And if it gets bad enough there's always a restraining order
If you don't it can become a trauma
The power differential issue around 'boundaries' isn’t often considered.
The people who advise me about my boundaries aren't very interested in this aspect.
One therapist got angry when I talked about society’s power structures as my biggest problem.
4/9
Subject: On boundaries.
I’ve noticed a pattern about when I'm told I should have boundaries.
It’s that it usually seems to mean that I should have boundaries to keep out the needs and wishes of those less powerful than, or equal to, me.
A thread. 
1/9
Lauren 
@LaurenCeleste@moonbow.gardenMy take on setting healthy boundaries for all supporters to read. #selfhelp #boundaries #ko-fi #support https://ko-fi.com/Post/How-to-set-healthy-boundaries-H2H617EEQ0
Cancer
My mom reached out last night to tell me my dad’s #glioblastoma has finally started growing and that he’s had yet another #stroke in the last few days. No more options except hospice at this point. Weeks, maybe a couple months. Orig. prognosis was 12-15 mos; it’s been 21 mos so I’m grateful we got as much time as we did.
Navigating this while also trying to maintain #boundaries after the election is a fine, fine line. Proceeding cautiously.
Who are you and what are you doing?
@Susan_Larson_TN@mastodon.online#Competing for two: #Pregnant #Olympians push the #boundaries of #possibility in #Paris.
After her #fencing #event ended last week, #Egypt’s #NadaHafez shared a little bit more. She’d been #fencing for two, the athlete revealed — and in fact had been #pregnant for seven months.
https://apnews.com/article/olympics-2024-pregnant-athletes-5229fa4c5c388c8fd6f8f1cd50917cf4
AP News · Pregnant Olympians push the boundaries of possibility in Paris
@wakehamAMR It took me far too long to conceptualise #boundaries. I've recently realised that it's #unethical to enable people to treat another human being with #disrespect. I'm sorry that you were hurt after extending your good will to others. It's not OK and it's not your fault, as much as it is an opportunity to adopt a pragmatic rather than idealistic approach to navigating this pathocratic #culture.
@Susan_Larson_TN@mastodon.online20 #LGBTQ+ #directors who are #changing the #film #industry.
These LGBTQ+ directors are stretching the #boundaries of #film in #new and #challenging #directions.
#Women #Transgender #LGBTQ #LGBTQIA #Entertainment #Movies #Representation #Culture
https://www.lgbtqnation.com/2024/06/20-lgbtq-directors-changing-the-film-industry/
LGBTQ Nation · 20 LGBTQ+ directors changing the film industry - LGBTQ Nation
@Susan_Larson_TN@mastodon.online#EmmaDArcy, #CaraDelevingne, #EmmaCorrin: #Nonbinary #celebrities who are pushing the #boundaries of #genderfluid #fashion.
D'Arcy debuted #goldteeth #grills at the #UK #premiere of #HouseoftheDragon. However, they're not the only one upping the ante with their personal #style
#Women #Transgender #LGBTQ #LGBTQIA #Entertainment #TV #Movies #Fashion #Representation #Culture
I can’t remember if I’ve seen this before, and possibly shared it, but it’s very good and worth sharing again! 
️
@Susan_Larson_TN@mastodon.onlineIn #Florida, #parents of #LGBTQ+ #youth are #hopeful for the first time in a long time
After years of #legal #restrictions, #families and #advocates see #relief in a #settlement that set #boundaries for the state’s #Fascist ‘#DontSayGay’ #law.
#Women #Transgender #LGBTQ #LGBTQIA #Florida #Conservatives #Extremism #Fascism #RepublicanParty #Hate #Bigotry #Violence #Genocide #Discrimination #Transphobia #ThePartyOfHate
https://19thnews.org/2024/03/florida-parents-lgbtq-youth-hopeful-first-time/
The 19th · In Florida, parents of LGBTQ+ youth are hopeful for the first time in a long time
"We can’t give to others what we do not have ourselves."
#quote #boundaries #peoplepleasing
I've already said this before but I'll say it again...
One change I'd like to see in the World Wide Web, is the emergence of websites that can't be accessed 24 hours a day.
Maybe that's a website that's only available from 9-5 each day.
Or maybe it's a web forum that you can only post on for a one hour period every week.
Too much UX design is about pushing people to stay on websites as long as possible.
I won't need to tell you that this obviously encourages unhealthy behaviour from the people using a web service but also...
Also, it means that if a web service goes down at any time of day or night, some poor bastard has to stop whatever they are doing and spend an indeterminate amount of time trying to fix it while the whole entire userbase cries murder.
Maybe, just maybe, we can set boundaries.
Maybe an admin doesn't need to be on call at any time of day or night.
Maybe that thing that you really want to post at 3am can wait until the morning (at which point you might end up being glad that you didn't post it).
I dunno, just an idea.
@markwyner@mas.to“It’s perfectly okay to use the block function on any and every single platform. Block whoever you want. Block liberally. Block joyously. It’s not rude; it’s not an act of censorship, and you don’t owe anyone an explanation.”
Words of wisdom from @Daojoan
https://joanwestenberg.com/blog/the-block-button-is-the-ultimate-source-of-dopamine-use-it
Joan WestenbergThe block button is the ultimate source of dopamine. Use it. — Joan WestenbergI’m seeing this debate pop up on Threads and Mastodon, and I’ve speed-run the whole discourse so many times from Twitter to Bluesky that I’m exhausted. But let me be clear. It's perfectly okay to use the block function on any and every single platform. Block whoever you want. Block liberally. Block