This International Women’s Day I’m saying Merci Gisele. Her unwavering commitment to ensuring rape & abuse victims know that the shame is NOT theirs has inspired countless women to come forward & share their own stories.

Abuse, neglect & medical misogyny are serious issues we must address #IWD2025

https://www.disabledginger.com/p/gisele-pelicot-medical-misogyny-and

Guy from “not all men” brigade asks me how he can be a better ally.

Me: “If you see a woman being harmed - speak up. Stand up. Help her.”

Him: “No that might not end well for me.”

It NEVER ends well for us. We don’t get a “choice” to walk away.

If you’re going to CHOOSE silence in real life - if you’re turning away when you know someone is being hurt - the bare minimum you can do is not inject yourself into conversations to yell over us.

You want to be silent - be silent. And consider how you’re proving our point.
#misogyny #patriarchy #discrimination #NotAllMen #notallmenbutenoughofthem #giselepelicot #mercigisele #rapeculture

Gisele Pelicot’s ex husband sentenced to twenty years in prison - and all fifty of the men tried with him have been found guilty and will serve jail time. Shame HAS changed sides.

I’m incredibly grateful for what Gisele has accomplished. She flipped the narrative. She gave up her right to privacy and anonymity so that the whole world could see what these monsters did to her. She refused to be made into a victim, refused to be blamed or shamed for what they did to her.

I wrote an article about her story - the role medical misogyny played in what happened to her and why ‘Not All Men’ rings hollow to us right now.

I expressly said that now is NOT the time to yell ‘Not All Men’ at us - because in this particular case - it was a great many men. Men from all ages, backgrounds and walks of life.

It was her own husband of fifty years. Her neighbour. Fathers and husbands. It was too many men.

The men who were approached by her husband and declined to assault Gisele? They didn’t go to the police. They didn’t get her help. They patted themselves on the back for being ‘good men’ for simply not raping an unconscious woman.

The worst part? We may never know how many of them there were.

I was scared to share this article. I was afraid of blowback from people who are unwilling and/or unable to accept just how bad rape culture is. How deep the rot of patriarchy goes.

One of the first comments I got was a man telling me to stop painting all men as rapists. That most men are ‘very fond’ of women. That he ‘likes them a lot’ and that I shouldn’t worry so much because he’s sending me a hug.

He literally commented with ‘not all men’ on an article pleading with men to stop yelling over us. And he saw absolutely nothing wrong with this. In fact - he went on to say that this case is an anomaly and it’s what prisons are for - but most men are good and I need to recognize that.

Let me say this one more time - the ONLY thing about this case that’s an anomaly is the sheer scope and horror of it.

Rape is not an anomaly. It’s almost never perpetrated by a stranger. The vast majority of rapes are committed by someone the woman knew and trusted and believed to be a ‘good man.’

You don’t know until it’s too late - and that’s exactly why we’re asking you to stop saying ‘Not All Men.’

Please - listen to us. Learn. Speak up FOR us instead of OVER us. Be an ally and condemn these acts instead of trying to act like they’re the outliers. They aren’t.

This happens too damn much, we are fed up, and we won’t be silent any longer.

Shame IS changing sides and it will be because we won’t back down.

https://www.disabledginger.com/p/gisele-pelicot-medical-misogyny-and

#GisèlePelicot hat mit ihren Kampf einen Horror sichtbar gemacht, dem strukturell begegnet werden muss. Die Autorin des Kommentars gibt zu bedenken:

[Der Täter] "fand seine perversen Kompagnons zu Dutzenden in einem Umkreis von nur 20 bis 30 Kilometern. Das bedeutet, dass jede Frau begreifen muss: Auch in meinem unmittelbaren Umkreis gibt es nicht nur einen, sondern Dutzende Männer, die zu solchen Taten fähig wären, wenn sie nur die Gelegenheit dazu hätten."
https://www.tagesschau.de/kommentar/urteil-pelicot-kommentar-100.html

#GisèlePelicot #speaksout after #exhusband found #guilty of #rapes, #sentenced to 20 years in #prison in #France.

She demanded the #evidence be #heard in open #court and said she thought of her #grandchildren after enduring over 3 months of #hearings prosecuting the #rapes and #abuse inflicted by her ex-#husband and over 4-dozen #accomplices over nearly a decade.

#Women #Transgender #LGBTQ #LGBTQIA #EuropeanUnion #France #DomesticViolence #SexualAssault

https://apnews.com/article/france-gisele-pelicot-rape-trial-verdicts-2b25791099f785fabb3c46123d30d9f9

Ever since I heard of #GiselePelicot story, I’ve noticed the focus on her son-of-a-bitch husband. I kept wondering: why are we not naming and shaming the other men? Well, the BBc has done the lord’s work. Here is every single fucking rapist who assaulted Gisele: https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/c785nm5g5y1o

Justice, ...and fuck the Patriarchy!

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2024/dec/19/gisele-pelicot-trial-husband-jailed-for-20-years-as-all-51-men-found-guilty

Everyone guilty.

https://www.theguardian.com/world/live/2024/dec/19/pelicot-rape-trial-dominique-gisele-verdict-france-latest-live

Gisele Pelicot on the cover of German Vogue - what a strong statement about how shame must change sides.

Since Trump won the election I’ve noticed an increase in misogyny and patriarchal bullying.

Men saying we belong in the kitchen, “your body my choice”, shaming childless and unmarried women and making all kinds of remarks about physical appearance and life choices.

You can’t speak out about rape culture, patriarchy, abortion rights or violence against women without getting slammed by men telling you that we need to go back to more “traditional values”. It’s deeply concerning.

These men don’t care about values - traditional or otherwise. They care about control. They see us as property -and want us to be demure and willing to capitulate to them in all aspects of life.

They want to control not just our reproductive rights - but everything we do. They want us to come second.

Whenever I get upset about the direction we seem to be headed in - I think about Ms Pelicot and the brave stand she’s taking.

Here’s a woman who believed she was in a loving and safe marriage for fifty years - only to find out her husband was recruiting men to assault her while she was unconscious.

I can’t even wrap my head around what she’s going through - or how difficult it would be to heal from that betrayal.

She could have opted for privacy. It was her legal right. She could have avoided seeing hours and hours of video of strangers violating her in the worst possible way.

She CHOSE to make it public so that shame could change sides. She wanted to show the world that it’s the men who should feel ashamed - not the victim.

She wanted to make sure victims know that it’s not their fault. What they were wearing, drinking, doing (or not doing) is irrelevant. No one deserves to be assaulted.

We keep hearing “not all men” … but the Pelicot trial is a perfect example of how it’s TOO MANY MEN.

It’s WHY women are afraid. It’s why we’re distrustful. It’s why we bristle when men say they want us to return to “traditional values”.

Some of the men on trial are actually trying to argue it wasn’t rape because the husband could consent for the wife. I’m sorry but screw that.

You don’t get access to our bodies without our express and ongoing consent. Period.

Speak out against these vile acts. Teach young men and boys to respect women and not to feel entitled to our attention, our bodies or our love.

Say her name. Condemn those who take part in harming others. Consider whether you’re perpetuating misogynistic behaviour with the way you engage with the opposite sex.

Shame must change sides.