the revolution will be in people's heads.

But also on Teen Vogue!

https://www.teenvogue.com/tag/politics-op-ed

On the off chance anyone needs telling:

No, autistic people do not Nazi salute at random.

Some of us do it on purpose, because they mistake fascism for "logic". (If you need to kill people to have a "good system", then you fucked up, pal. Do it without the social murder, then you might have a point.)

Anyone who has a nerve condition or tic disorder will usually tell you beforehand so you are less likely to think they are a fucking racist, ableist creep.

For everyone else, there are Hobbies and Joy in life.

https://nebula.tv/videos/citynerd-these-10-towns-are-great-and-affordable/

https://writing.exchange/@cheribaker/113897022467347265

FediVore. MasTumblr. Tumblodon.
I feel like I should be sorry, but I am not at all.

We, walking zailors, must all port man toe.

https://mastodon.social/@box464/113886509614344631

"Everyone deserves forgiveness / a second chance."

Maybe? I don't know.

But not every person deserves either or both from you personally.
You can also still work / live / partner / patronise / rent / etc with people whom you do not forgive.

Feel your goddamn feelings. That's what they're there for.
Need permission? You got it. I grant you permission to emote your emotions.

(Disclaimer: do not kill, hurt, attack, torture, threaten, insult, or intend to harm anyone else. Exceptions: self defense or to defend someone else from immediate harm / choose a less harmful option.)

Also elderly, older, experienced, mature, settled, self-assured, (idk any other common terms tbh) people also need rights and support.

As frustrated as I am with how older adults treated me growing up, and how (some! Not all!) older adults continue to vote, act, advocate, exclude, etc,
the fact remains that everyone of any age is still a person.
Every person still deserves to have their needs met, on balance with everyone else.

Yes, even the dumbasses of any age actively choosing to kill, harm, maim, torture, and insult the rest of us, making their own lives worse in the process.

If their needs were met, how many fewer would still choose to expend energy so shittily?

and even if there's something I do that you really don't like -- just ungodly heathen of Bad Moral Status!!
Then do one thing for me:

Treat kindly your kids, children, young family members, community youth, interns, mentees, coachees, and anyone else you have a hint of responsibility for.

They are each individuals who are different from you. Help them be whomever they are.
If conversion therapy 'worked', we would know by now ffs! It doesn't. So if you really want to help anyone, then help them try not to cause harm. That's it.

Help them be more 'them' (and be excited to find out who that is?? Duh?!) and help them not cause harm.

By the way, if you're pregnant, a parent, trying to adopt or foster, currently a carer / caretaker, etc, or otherwise responsible for a Human of Youth,

know this!

They could be intersex. They could be queer.
If they live love enough, they WILL eventually be disabled, if not already considered as such in their current socio-economic context.

These all apply to you, too. You could be intersex. You could be queer.
You WILL become disabled if you live long enough, and whether or not you are / could be considered disabled already.

You ever had a chromosome test? No? Then how do you 'know' that you aren't? You don't. You assume you aren't.

Identity and behaviours do not always align.

If you understand the phrase "closeted / in the closet", then you can understand
celibate allosexual people and
sexually active asexual people.

I am autistic. I can have conversations with allistic strangers.
They bore me stiff, to the point of painful nausea and sometimes even literally suicidal with boredom-rage (!), but I can do it. It just sucks and I don't understand the fuckers.
(I also feel hugely put-upon when they expend basically zero effort in response or to initiate. But that's separate.)

Celibate = choice not to be sexually active, whether you have been sexually active before or not.
e.g. "failed sex education coercion to replace actual contraception advice."

Asexual = sexual orientation where you have little to no desire to have sex with anyone based on their body shape or gendered identity.
e.g. "any asexual person can still have sex for other reasons, get married, have children, have emotions, etc, regardless of not wanting to bang people they look at."

Aromantic = romantic orientation where you have little to no desire to date, couple or partner, join a polycule, or otherwise form intimate community bonds with other people.
e.g. "any aromantic person can still date, marry, have children, have emotions, etc, regardless of not wanting to date, marry, or partner with people they look at."

Queer people are everywhere. We might even be YOU!

You can't hide. I'll trans the fuck out of you if you cross me. (And you'll enjoy it!)

If that terrifies you, you might want to explore some stuff.

If you don't particularly care or don't think it would do much? Awesome! You might be secure in your identity, expression, and preferences! I'm happy for you <3

cis and straight and allo and mauve and violet and --
actually I have a rant.

Once for an NHS job, an interview panel of 3 or 4 people joked to me that they don't have to care about "genderbread" people.

The implication, if you're unfamiliar, is that queer people's lives and livelihoods do not matter to them. Or even that they should not matter to anyone.

Evidently I passed for cis het, if they thought that shit was on in my presence. To this day, I regret not silently packing up my shit and leaving.

You need to feel your feelings or they will keep haunting you until you do.

Your child is not your emotional dildo. Treat them like a separate person who is learning to be a person.
The person who your child is learning to be is themself, and no one else.

Resentment is a sign you have overextended yourself. Pull back, solidify boundaries, assert needs, and rest.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=liBCLBYX0Gs

If you like how I phrase things and try to help people,
throw me $2 USD, £2 GBP, etc. Very thank. Much many.

https://ko-fi.com/mxverda or https://patreon.com/MxVerdaArt or https://mxverda.itch.io/ or https://liberapay.com/MxVerda/ or https://subscribestar.adult/mxverde or https://artistree.io/mxverda or https://twitch.tv/mxverda or https://paypal.me/mxverda

Oh yeah, and it seems like cis people think
your physical body creates your gender, and your gender creates your sexuality?

[So your form creates your substance, and your substance creates your interactions? That feels backward AF to me.] Hm. Probably ambivalent / bidirectional though.

Like “you have genitals that look like this,
therefore you are this type of person,
therefore you will want to spend time with this [“other”] type of person.”

What. Like, that explains part of why the straights get so goddamn weird about the Les Gay of Bi.

Cis people who read to the end of this and did not get offended by being described as who you are: awesome! have a song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-sOSr7n_8YU
and https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u6oUHaLCc_U

and https://lgbtqia.space/@MxVerda/113834043346316891

ACTUAL ‘self-defense’ * is:
1. Proactive mitigation,
2. Varied (!!) systems analysis,
3. Community decision-making, and
4. Anti-hierarchical conflict resolution.

It’s not easy, simple, or direct. Instead: it is sustainable, effective, adaptable, and fair. For once.

1. DON’T shoot the messenger.
(This assumes you accept that you can be wrong. You can. You will be wrong.)

2. ASK people unlike you to double-check.
(Accept them telling you "no". You are not entitled to their time or efforts.)

3. INVOLVE people affected in discussing options.
(Remember: you can be wrong. You will be wrong. That's part of why it's important to reduce potential harm in advance.)

4. No one is above anyone else. Ever.
(Especially if you think being described as having power over someone else is an insult. "Cis" is a goddamn descriptor, for fucks' sake. Get therapy and fuck right off.)

Yes: bureaucracy, overhaul, and buy-in from community leaders -- and whoever tells the CIA which anti-hierarchical countries to fuck with.
But maybe life would start being worth living for a lot more people??
Maybe we could eliminate subsistence crime? Maybe we could return people’s futures to them?

* context https://lgbtqia.space/@MxVerda/113649372202688121