Let me introduce you to OxyFree, our brand new specialized product that you must pay a subscription for to use. Our CEO says OxyFree thinks the air you breathe should be a subscription model, because you shouldn't be allowed access to all this free oxygen you're surrounded by and breathing in. So now you only need OxyFree or we will shut off all the free oxygen you currently breathe for your area.
With OxyFree you get free software updates for a lifetime for great quality air for breathing.
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Some company will always find a way to do the most stupid things possible. We just have to point and laugh at their own stupidity.