pawb.fun is one of the many independent Mastodon servers you can use to participate in the fediverse.
This instance aimed at any and all within the furry fandom, though anyone is welcome! We're friendly towards members of the LGBTQ+ community and aiming to offer a safe space for our users.

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It does feel lonely on fedi as trans guy

Not just as trans guy, but also the one who isn't that much interested in tech (I can learn something for my amateur website, but that's it).

It's also kinda interesting that I used to have even some aversion to learning tech due to family trauma (don't force your own goals on your kids) and misogyny in IT spaces, which makes makes it a bit harder to have joy in learning it (and also it's fucking hard, I need explanations like I'm 5 or I won't understand). Though among my all-transmasc family members I'm still the one most interested in IT, LOL.

And basically that's why I find bluesky more appealing to me lately, simply because I see variety of interests and more transmascs. If I see memes and shitposts in trans communities on fedi, they're oriented mostly to transfems into tech (which I don't mind at all, I'm just not the target audience). Despite all of that, I will continue to actively use fedi at least to be the one who makes some variety here :D

@ftm

witch animal
Quiet public
@vv0ltz happy that you found a space more targeted to you!! 💜 but communities on fedi tend to be highly insular to their own detriment. i'm the target demographic of most fedi stuff in theory, but i am also super uncomfortable with exactly how homogenous queer fedi is. i don't particularly love tech stuff though i'm good at it, and i'm transfem -- but even then, i don't enjoy most of the content that targets those two groups

i'm really glad you're staying though 💜 i really enjoy having you on my feed, and seeing your art, and everything you have to say
mem n' ben :neofox_flag_gay_256: :neofox_flag_nb_256:
Quiet public

@rowan AAAA THANK YOU 🥺

I'm glad you relate! Fedi certainly made me better at understanding tech because I'm curious and want to understand everything (which has a disadvantage of me knowing like. a lot of a fedi conflicts I shouldn't have known), but still not that much of a fan, I'd like to see more artists here haha

witch animal
Quiet public
@vv0ltz oh yeah thats fair, and there's definitely no shortage of fedi meta and conflicts kdslfjowu9tw0tiorjkal. there's definitely a bunch of smart fedi folk on here though, and that's really cool! i love seeing them do their thing

totally agree about artists though ;u; i've wanted to post my art here but it feels super intimidating because it feels like swimming against the tide. i really love seeing you post your art, it's always such a treat 💕
atomicpoet
Public

Welcome here! I’m not trans, but I want to say your visibility matters, and you being here makes a difference. If people see you, they’ll know that they’re not alone. So thank you.

WoodScientist
Public

I’m not a trans guy, I’m a trans gal. But I can say I’m not in IT!

mem n' ben :neofox_flag_gay_256: :neofox_flag_nb_256:
Public

@hildegarde that's an interesting theory. Might explain why I saw equally both transmascs and transfems on Tumblr, for example, though many transfems are leaving due to Tumblr staff being hostile to them. I also guess disproportion may be caused by transmascs tending to be silent about themselves for various reasons

pop [he/him]
Public

That’s something I’ve noticed as well. We tend to blend in. I don’t say I’m a trans guy unless I’m somewhere like this.

cowboycrustation [he/him]
Public

Same here. I rarely talk about it IRL.

TriflingToad
Public

my instinct was to look up the trans communities on the sites I already used

Yeah this checks out for me too. Not really a big fan of Snapchat or Instagram. Discord, Reddit (Lemmy now), and YouTube are mainly what I use.

Heyting
Public

Yes it’s strange. Irl I know mostly transmasc people but every online space I’ve visited is ‘dominated’ by transfem people. I’m happy they’re here but I do wish there were more transmasc people as well. I have similar aversions to tech but I like politics which is why I like lemmy.

serpentineminor
Public

No kidding. I don’t mind it since the ladies over here on blåhaj are overall very nice and funny, but lonely does describe it pretty well. I’m relatively lucky to enjoy the tech stuff, which is one of the main reasons I’m here. Guess I oughta try to be more active myself to add a little chatter around here, but I don’t usually have much to say ^^;

WillStealYourUsername
Public

There’s been a couple of transmascs on the genderverse matrix server, but I’ve never seen them active at the same time :(

nikolai
Quiet public

@vv0ltz I feel this too, we are here

Fénix (they/he)
Public

Being a transmasc who is into computers, that causes its own kind of isolation because a lot of the trans-in-tech spaces, well… a carelessly-phrased egg joke in a transfem-heavy space hits as pressure to detransition if you happen to be a transmasc, and so the whole “teehee become a girl to be a True Programmer” meme culture feels hostile.

EmptySlime
Public

The amount of IT nerd trans women I’ve had straight up tell me that I’m not actually nonbinary and that what’s really going on is my egg still needs to crack more because I’ve got too much internalized misogyny is uncomfortably high. I’ve had at least a dozen separate conversations where different people have tried to convince me I’m not actually nonbinary, just a trans woman in denial.

some_guy
Public

I’m a cis white male who’s into tech, but I’ll be your friend. You might also check Mastadon on fedi (though it skews toward tech people even more than Lemmy does; lots of software developers there). But if you’re happy on BlueSky, there’s nothing wrong with that. I hope the culture here develops in such a way as to feel like a better fit for you over time.

cowboycrustation [he/him]
Public

Yep. It’s been a problem for a while. I’m adore IT so I fit into the fediverse alright, but the subculture around it is exclusionary in trans spaces.

The cool thing about the fediverse tho is that you can usually carve out your own space if you post on it/promote it enough.