Pawb.Social Reports @transparency

Mx. Luna CorbdenThis process can be tricky, but I've been at it for a long time. Once you poke at words, various aspects of your reality model can get a bit wobbly. You can start to realize that it's not just words that are flexible, but that whole areas in your reality construct are flawed and leaving out vital information.That's the price of having an open mind. This sort of thing leads to "ego death," because our identities are also tied up in our worldview. (Cults leverage this in what researchers call a "pseudopersonality" that manipulators create in you that is not really you, but that you feel like you'll die if you lose it.)You peel back one layer, and there's another underneath. This process take courage, but it's exciting and freeing once you get the hang of it.I could have stopped with unpacking Mormonism. But I didn't. I'm trying to unpack the *whole thing*. Because ALL of it is contorted or made up to support existing abusive power structures.🧵<a href="https://defcon.social/tags/AbuseCulture" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#AbuseCulture</a> <a href="https://defcon.social/tags/deconditioning" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#deconditioning</a>

Mx. Luna Corbden"Loading the Language" is a term cult researchers use to describe how manipulators use words to control behavior & limit free thinking. Orwell called it "newspeak."Language is the foundation of all other social constructs. It's how we communicate ideas, which can both hobble and free. Language is always in flux, and like anything else, it's just a model. An ever-changing model. The idea that words are carved in stone forever is a colonial construct. Try looking at reality without it.If you can't be flexible with and examine your use of language, you will continue to remain under the control of those who wield language as a weapon to dominate you.Much of what I post here is doing just that. I fuck with words and see how that changes my thinking. This practice is the opposite of loaded language. If you take for granted the definitions you've been handed, those definitions will continue to control you.Words are yours. Take them back.🧵 <a href="https://defcon.social/tags/AbuseCulture" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#AbuseCulture</a> <a href="https://defcon.social/tags/deconditioning" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#deconditioning</a>

Mx. Luna CorbdenMy old church dismisses detractors as, "Oh they're just offended."Yeah I'm offended! You call me all kinds of horrible names from your pulpit and foment hate against people like me, I have every right to be offended, and it's proof of just how horrible your worst doctrines are. It's on you to change that!Think about the accusation and see if it's really such a bad thing to be. They get to set the rules to their advantage by default if you don't.<a href="https://defcon.social/tags/AbuseCulture" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#AbuseCulture</a> <a href="https://defcon.social/tags/Deconditioning" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Deconditioning</a> <a href="https://defcon.social/tags/exmo" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#exmo</a> <a href="https://defcon.social/tags/exmormon" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#exmormon</a> <a href="https://defcon.social/tags/ReligiousTrauma" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#ReligiousTrauma</a>

Mx. Luna CorbdenFor people with secure or dead egos, this is a superpower. Idgaf what you think about my identity, I will stop trying to control your impression of me because you've shown you're not perceiving me in good faith, only projecting, anyway. So I'm an asshole, I'm abusive, I'm being mean to you, I'm a bitch, my ego can take it, now what are you going to do about it? Ball's in your court.<a href="https://defcon.social/tags/AbuseCulture" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#AbuseCulture</a> <a href="https://defcon.social/tags/Deconditioning" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Deconditioning</a>

Mx. Luna CorbdenYou're allowed to be insulted. You're allowed to be offended. You're allowed to take it personally. You're allowed to distrust *anyone* for any reason!Half the things abusers accuse their victims of aren't even morally wrong. And we get defensive — no, I'm not upset, no I trust you, no, I don't think you're a jerk.Think harder. So what if I don't trust them? So what if I'm selfish? So what if I'm advocating for my own interests. Own it, and it shifts the dynamic. It reduces any hold they have over you. It undermines their power.There's a time to be all kinds of empathetic, trusting, and polite. But if someone has shown they are not operating by those standards, then all bets are off.<a href="https://defcon.social/tags/AbuseCulture" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#AbuseCulture</a> <a href="https://defcon.social/tags/Deconditioning" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Deconditioning</a>

Mx. Luna CorbdenEveryone gets duped at some point. The worst thing you can do is be ashamed of it, because your subconscious pressures will then drive you to commit to the ruse. If you value truth that reflects reality, then cop to your fallibility, which makes you human like everyone else. Then set about the business of unpacking the lies in your head, which will become a lifelong process. There are easy to learn tools for doing this. <a href="https://defcon.social/tags/AbuseCulture" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#AbuseCulture</a> <a href="https://defcon.social/tags/cult" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#cult</a> <a href="https://defcon.social/tags/Deconditioning" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Deconditioning</a> <a href="https://defcon.social/tags/ReligiousTrauma" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#ReligiousTrauma</a> <a href="https://defcon.social/tags/AntiRacism" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#AntiRacism</a> <a href="https://defcon.social/tags/Antifa" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Antifa</a>

Mx. Luna CorbdenOne of the benefits to these suggestions is they help build trust. The crux of manipulation is trust (manipulation = “confidence” game), and right now, your conservative loved one trusts their manipulators more than they trust you. Today, and over the months I’ve used this approach, my mom has grown to trust me more. I’ve safely handled her emotions by validating her feelings, concerns, and values. I’ve shown interest in her worldview (questions!). I’ve shown her the common values where we want the same outcomes.Rather than seek to tear down their trust in their manipulators (especially through direct attack which NEVER works), instead focus on earning their trust and sewing mere seeds of doubt about their manipulators.🧵<a href="https://defcon.social/tags/USPol" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#USPol</a> <a href="https://defcon.social/tags/Deconstruction" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Deconstruction</a> <a href="https://defcon.social/tags/AbuseCulture" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#AbuseCulture</a> <a href="https://defcon.social/tags/Cults" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Cults</a> <a href="https://defcon.social/tags/Deconditioning" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Deconditioning</a>

Mx. Luna Corbden13. Don’t worry about logical fallacies and stuff. This isn’t Debate Team. Appeal to emotion. Appeal to authority! (I quoted scripture, for instance.) You don’t need to convince *yourself*, you need to convince them using the kind of thinking that is persuasive to them. (Which is also accomplished by asking questions.) Now isn’t time to do things in the “proper” way. If you’re willing to punch a Nazi, you can make a hasty generalization or two. For the cause.🧵<a href="https://defcon.social/tags/USPol" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#USPol</a> <a href="https://defcon.social/tags/Deconstruction" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Deconstruction</a> <a href="https://defcon.social/tags/AbuseCulture" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#AbuseCulture</a> <a href="https://defcon.social/tags/Cults" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Cults</a> <a href="https://defcon.social/tags/Deconditioning" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Deconditioning</a>

Mx. Luna CorbdenSo for instance, I was bullied as a kid and my mom tried to protect me. Plus I’m an abuse survivor So we’ve had discussions where I’ve talked about how schoolyard bullies and domestic abusers grow up and work their way into positions of power in business and politics. I describe how the behavior and language of my bullies and abusers is just like certain political behaviors and language. I used this in the dog whistle discussion, in fact, how the bully and the victim often know certain meanings that seem innocent to observers but really are intimidating threats, and that the same happens within politics, and you have to learn that language or you’ll end up supporting the bully without knowing. I used examples from my life. This is an example of finding shared values and speaking directly to them.🧵<a href="https://defcon.social/tags/USPol" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#USPol</a> <a href="https://defcon.social/tags/Deconstruction" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Deconstruction</a> <a href="https://defcon.social/tags/AbuseCulture" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#AbuseCulture</a> <a href="https://defcon.social/tags/Cults" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Cults</a> <a href="https://defcon.social/tags/Deconditioning" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Deconditioning</a>

Mx. Luna Corbden8. If it’s with a loved one & you trust them enough, get vulnerable and make it personal. What are the stakes FOR YOU in this election? If you’re scared, offended, or hurt let them know. Own it.9. Keep asking questions.10. If you notice contradictions between their values and positions, don’t point them out as an accusation, which will only trigger conditioning and shame. Ask them to explain how they reconcile the apparent contradiction.11. Avoid directly arguing the talking points that have been been in the news. Find the side doors. Focusing on fundamental values can help with this. 12. Think about switching up your usual language. Couch your points inside their terminology rather than leftist terms. Talk about the Constitution, rights, freedom, American values. Not just speaking to their values but using their language to do so. They’ll say the words that are important to them, so just follow their lead.🧵<a href="https://defcon.social/tags/USPol" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#USPol</a> <a href="https://defcon.social/tags/Deconstruction" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Deconstruction</a> <a href="https://defcon.social/tags/AbuseCulture" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#AbuseCulture</a> <a href="https://defcon.social/tags/Cults" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Cults</a> <a href="https://defcon.social/tags/Deconditioning" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Deconditioning</a>

Mx. Luna Corbden6. Believing a lie told to them by someone they trust is NOT something to be ashamed of. Actively try to reduce this shame so they have a path out of their conditioning.7. Talk about trust, who they trust and why, who you trust and why.(Maybe more if I think of them.)🧵<a href="https://defcon.social/tags/USPol" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#USPol</a> <a href="https://defcon.social/tags/Deconstruction" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Deconstruction</a> <a href="https://defcon.social/tags/AbuseCulture" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#AbuseCulture</a> <a href="https://defcon.social/tags/Cults" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Cults</a> <a href="https://defcon.social/tags/Deconditioning" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Deconditioning</a>

Mx. Luna CorbdenHad a very productive political discussion with my mom today that ended with her asking, “What’s a dog whistle?” and listening to and believing my answer.Tips:1. Ask questions to inspire curiosity and critical thinking.2. Focus on fundamentals. Bring everything back to fundamental values.3. Focus on your shared values. Ask questions to find out what they are. Use hypothetical questions to explore what these values mean to them and you.4. When they make statements about their fundamental values and positions, cognitive dissonance will work for you when the discussion moves on to how those values apply to controversial political issues.5. Defensiveness is bad. If they get defensive, you’ve triggered their conditioning. Back off, remind them of your common values or shared need for safety, and try a different track.🧵<a href="https://defcon.social/tags/USPol" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#USPol</a> <a href="https://defcon.social/tags/Deconstruction" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Deconstruction</a> <a href="https://defcon.social/tags/AbuseCulture" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#AbuseCulture</a> <a href="https://defcon.social/tags/Cults" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Cults</a> <a href="https://defcon.social/tags/Deconditioning" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Deconditioning</a>

Mx. Luna CorbdenThis is why it is so important to get to know about people who aren't like you and aren't in your usual circles. Hate thrives on ignorance. They can't convince you that "those people" are this or that if you know some of "those people." It just won't mesh!And if you can't meet people outside your demographic, then follow them on social media, read their books, watch their movies. Even properly-researched or <a href="https://defcon.social/tags/OwnVoices" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#OwnVoices</a> fiction is scientifically shown to increase empathy for people not like you. The human mind thrives on narrative. It is where we learn empathy for experiences we haven't had ourselves. The antidote to <a href="https://defcon.social/tags/AbuseCulture" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#AbuseCulture</a> is knowledge. Fill your head with as many details about this world as you can. Then the lies will stop making sense and you will see through the illusions. You will know how the magic trick is done.<a href="https://defcon.social/tags/ReligiousTrauma" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#ReligiousTrauma</a> <a href="https://defcon.social/tags/exmo" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#exmo</a> <a href="https://defcon.social/tags/exmormon" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#exmormon</a> <a href="https://defcon.social/tags/cults" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#cults</a> <a href="https://defcon.social/tags/Deconditioning" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Deconditioning</a> <a href="https://defcon.social/tags/AbuseCulture" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#AbuseCulture</a>

Mx. Luna CorbdenIt’s harder to lie about a topic that people know a lot of details about, than it is to lie about something with gaps.This is why continual self-education is so important.This works in reverse, when the mind of an indoctrinated person is filled with complex lies. Replacing those lies with truth is near-impossible. (This is a scientific fact.) But talking at the edges of those lies, going around, finding related or foundational topics which haven’t been inoculated against, that’s the way to reach them.This is why I talk so much about core values. Core values are simple and often haven’t been explored much in a cult tho they may preach them. Go to the foundation. Talk about love and what that means. Talk about honesty in practical situations. Talk about justice, or humility. Find whatever common ground and teach moral reasoning by discussing the basics, with questions, analogies, and examples.<a href="https://defcon.social/tags/ReligiousTrauma" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#ReligiousTrauma</a> <a href="https://defcon.social/tags/exmo" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#exmo</a> <a href="https://defcon.social/tags/exmormon" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#exmormon</a> <a href="https://defcon.social/tags/cults" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#cults</a> <a href="https://defcon.social/tags/Deconditioning" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#Deconditioning</a> <a href="https://defcon.social/tags/AbuseCulture" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#AbuseCulture</a>

Mx. Luna CorbdenShe ended up telling me to throw this directly in the trash, where the outside plastic will insulate it from the inside plastic for a few centuries at least.She was quite surprised to learn that corporate execs from places like Exxon go right into running the regulatory agencies.A lot of these folks are simply ignorant and pre-disposed with reactionary arguments against direct attacks against their worldview. Be creative. Go around. Find common causes and avoid trigger words. Show them that you're on their side as a person, even if not politically. This is how you get someone out of a religious cult, and it's how we can get people out of this huge political cult, too. And the cult that is society in general.<a href="https://defcon.social/tags/deconditioning" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#deconditioning</a> <a href="https://defcon.social/tags/AbuseCulture" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#AbuseCulture</a> <a href="https://defcon.social/tags/pol" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#pol</a> <a href="https://defcon.social/tags/ClimateChange" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#ClimateChange</a>

Mx. Luna CorbdenWe got a new washer. This came with it. I used the opportunity to tell my conservative, anti-socialist, anti-regulation mom about microplastics. She got upset. She said if she weren't so old & sick that she'd go on a campaign to stop it.This was in spite of my mom being pro-P&G (my dad worked there as an engineer in the 60s). I told her that they did this & that a responsive, robust regulatory system is the best way to stop this kind of thing. She did generally agreed!We've got to bypass pre-installed inoculation that makes conservatives defensive by talking about things they can relate to that they haven't yet been poisoned against understanding.Just like they've flooded us w so many issues we can't tackle them all, that's to their disadvantage bc they can't inoculate against every path of winning people to our side.This took five minutes. Preceded by years of winning her trust. I didn't do that by arguing. Aruging is useless.<a href="https://defcon.social/tags/deconditioning" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#deconditioning</a> <a href="https://defcon.social/tags/anticult" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#anticult</a> <a href="https://defcon.social/tags/pol" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#pol</a> <a href="https://defcon.social/tags/ClimateChange" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#ClimateChange</a>

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