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Discussion of Misgendering, enbyphobia, toxic egg culture, stalking, AI generated Revenge porn (not shown)
Hello everyone today I would like to discuss something not too pleasant involving harassment in my DMs. As well as address the issue of calling people eggs.
So earlier someone decided to message me on Matrix trying to claim I'm not cis because I post in c/196 [lemmy.blahaj.zone] which is a stupid claim on its own but it gets worse because when I pointed out that I'm Agender they started trying to argue that it's not real and that "everyone is either male or female". On top of that they tried to argue that I'm transfem in denial by pulling up an old reddit post on ACNH. They also decided to send me an onion link for DIY-HRT and also AI generated porn of my sona as a post-OP MtF fingering (I know it was AI gen because it had deformed paws and a fake watermark).
This behavior is unacceptable and if it was the first time I wouldn't be making this post.
re: Discussion of Misgendering, enbyphobia, toxic egg culture, stalking
This type of thing has happened to me repeatedly over the past 3 years. Which is why I'm bringing this up here and now. I actually had to close my Discord DMs because people wouldn't stop sending me shitty messages like this.
Not only is this type of behavior against the Egg prime directive but it is also harassment and gaslighting and is absolutely not okay. What's worse is that there are people who actively deny this is happening both to me and to other people despite the fact that it has happened and continues to happen.
In addition a lot of the egg culture stuff towards gender nonconformity is just extremely gross and disrespectful in general, as if clothing or looks determines gender identity. Some people say that it's just harmless fun but I disagree, misgendering is never harmless fun, these jokes come at the person's expense by virtue of calling them something they aren't as a joke, but also not a joke.
re: Discussion of Misgendering, enbyphobia, toxic egg culture, stalking
I know a lot of people will probably disagree with me on this and my take on Egg culture but I feel this needs to be said, especially because so many people aren't willing to speak out about their issues, also the fact that the bad people in the space who do this stuff often attack those who speak out about it.
@Draconic_NEO@pawb.fun Holy shit, this is majorly fucked up. I’ve never been super into egg culture myself despite being someone who has helped multiple friends who are in transition- and I think whether I’ve realised it or not this may be the exact reason why. It can inadvertently create people who behave like this and try to treat gender nonconforming individuals as though they don’t know what they actually are and that’s both invalidating and horrible.
While not (nearly) the same thing, and not nearly as bad as what you’ve described, it reminds me in some ways of what many of my bisexual friends have told me about how people treat their sexuality. People seem very hell-bent on trying to fit everyone into one of two boxes to make themselves more comfortable.
CW: Misgendering, public harassment
@casuallynoted Yeah a lot of times they can go way too far with the assumption that others are trans in denial, a lot of them have trouble knowing when to stop too because in their mind orders or requests to stop are seen as another sign of being in-denial. It usually doesn't get as bad as it did in my DMs on public threads but I've seen it get very close.
One thread on Reddit had a person posting a screenshot of DMs and the comments misgendering the other person repeatedly while he had a mental breakdown and begged to stop. It was really fucked up and ended up being removed by Reddit itself.
The idea of people being eggs or calling someone else out as "in-denial" is very dangerous simply because it goes against the idea of consent, and is basically justifying misgendering, which should never be justified.
re: Discussion of Misgendering, enbyphobia, toxic egg culture, stalking, AI generated Revenge porn (not shown)
@Draconic_NEO Ugh, that's really gross. I'm sorry you have to deal with that. People definitely shouldn't use the egg thing (or any other thing) as an excuse to tell people what their gender is (or isn't).
Re: Discussion of Misgendering, enbyphobia, toxic egg culture, stalking, AI generated Revenge porn (not shown)
@Draconic_NEO JFC that's abhorrent, there's no universe that would excuse doing that
People need to let others figure out who they are on their own terms. It's ok to be cis, gnc, trans, neither, or any and every of the above. Forcing people into any of those boxes is transphobic
@starsider@valenciapa.wsre: Discussion of Misgendering, enbyphobia, toxic egg culture, stalking, AI generated Revenge porn (not shown)
@Draconic_NEO wtf..... That's wrong on so many levels... I don't even think it's "egg culture" because actual eggs don't even consider themselves as enby. This is plain enbyphobia, as well as acephobia.
Also a very weird form of transmedicalism. I think that HRT and surgeries should be available to anybody through informed consent regardless of their gender identity, but this person seem to see diyhrt just as another of using it for its "true" purpose I guess. It's deplorable.
@starsider Agreed, it very much is plain enbyphobia, and transmedicalist.
I think it's referred to as egg culture because it originated in the egg spaces like egg_irl and traa, ironically most of the people participating in it aren't eggs. Most of the occurrences I've seen there are more thinly veiled versions of this stuff I've experienced but still very similar messages invalidating enbies or saying that HRT is required. I never saw porn there but I have seen very strong encouragement towards others telling them to get bottom surgery including a removed comment telling another user that their penis was "misgendering them" (WTF?).
Yeah it very much seems like a version of transmedicalism. Their idea that HRT and surgery is required is a hallmark of Transmedicalism. Their very forceful encouragement of DIY is also very unsettling.